The Sheeping News

A decade away from home leaves you with some serious catching-up to do when you finally return.  Things subtly moved on while you were away and are not quite the same as you remember.  At some point dogs became welcome in shops and pubs, where drinkers now snort gas from silver cylinders while enjoying their pint.  And everywhere we go and in everything we do, we not only have to include everybody - but we have to consider their feelings too.    In today's ever-changing social landscape it really is essential to ensure we leave nobody feeling left behind, left out or indeed feeling too left wing by our bold opinions. We need to give everyone a chance to be heard so we do not accidentally favour those with the loudest voices. The policies of equality, diversity and inclusion are important in all aspects of how we conduct ourselves; which includes fairly apportioning how we give offence. We must ensure that we offend all people equally to ensure none feel overl...

Not long ago Britain was almost unknown to the civilised world and by early accounts, it had to be seen to be believed.  Rare descriptions of its people noted; "They wear their hair long and shave all their bodies except their heads and upper lip.  Wives are shared between groups of ten or twelve men; especially between brothers, fathers and sons.   T hey dye their bodies with woad which produces a blue colour, making them appear daunting in battle."   Such accounts tempted people to leave the comforts of cities as far away as Rome to come to see for themselves.  And so a long history of unwelcome boats crossing the channel was about to begin .... "Oi !  Clear Awwff " The city was hot, the air was heavy, the Tiber stank. Caesar was anxiously pacing the cool marble floor barefoot around his pool.  Calpurnia entered from their bedchamber, pulling a toga around her otherwise naked body as something of an afterthought. "Husband ?  You cannot slee...